My journey towards body acceptance

Once I start to accept my body then the confidence will follow

Last week on Instagram I posted a pic of me in my jeans. No big deal I hear you say, but I am not a jean wearer. I haven’t owned or worn a pair in easily three years as I always felt too self-conscious of my body to wear them. I was blown away by all of the kind comments. There was so many I couldn’t reply to them all. I wanted to write this post to inspire women who are feeling the same way that they are not alone and that I feel insecure at times about my body too. Whether your slim, small, tall, curvalicious, we all need to be kinder to ourselves. 

Why I felt self-conscious?

An awful lot of money is made from companies by making women feel bad about themselves. You notice this around Christmas when all the ad’s want you to eat everything and then poof, 1st of January all the diet and ” new me, new bollox” starts and ” How to drop a dress size in two weeks shite”. We are constantly bombarded with messages from the media each day. Nowadays it is not just tv, it is on our phones. It is everywhere. 

I am bored of seeing the same style of images in the media. I choose to follow ladies on Instagram with the same size and type or frame to me as they give me inspiration for outfits or how to wear a particular trend and then style it for my shape. I also love seeing when brands use ladies in campaigns where they have different shapes and sizes. 

I also choose to follow women who inspire other women and not bash them. I couldn’t care less if you have lip fillers, fake boobs or fake lashes. If that is what makes you happy then live and let live.  I also work with a large team of women of all ages. Each one beautiful and not one of us has the same body shape, so why are we bombarded with the one same body shape we see used by brands in the media. 

My shape and why I won’t be hiding it anymore

 I am a petite frame but with some shapes thrown in. I am 4ft 11 and 3/4. I have a DD chest and a size two foot. I am not and will never be a Victoria Secret model and I don’t want to be.  I carry weight on the tops of my arms and thighs and have a smaller waist. I have a little pooch and sometimes when I eat bread I look about three months pregnant. I have many a time had to say “It’s a food baby #notpregnant”. I don’t know what I weigh and my clothes are on average a size 10.  My belly flops to one side when I lie down and I can rest my boobs on my belly too. 

My signature outfit is a tea dress, I love them and I live in them and they make me feel glam. They cover my thighs and parts I don’t like but lately, I kinda felt like I was hiding behind them. The last few months when a new style of jean would come into work I would try them on but none flattered my shape. In hindsight, they did suit my frame I was just focusing on my thighs each time I tried them on. So wanting to wear my rose gold runners I said Fuck it! and I got a little blue pair of denim to match and I wore them. 

Stop talking to yourself like you’re a piece of shit and stop talking shit about other women.

I see this every day when I scroll through my feed. Captions like ” I can’t believe how fat I was”. “I was so hideous in the before pic” etc etc. Why do we feel the need to say these things about ourselves. Yes, hands up I will admit that I am guilty of looking in the mirror and beating myself up over parts of my body I don’t like. Then I asked myself why? Why are you saying horrible things because your stomach isn’t flat or thighs rub? I guess subconsciously because I see the same type of body in the media each day and mine isn’t like it so I feel inadequate. 

I also won’t be engaging in conversations about other women in a negative way. We all know it, over coffee, the topic might turn to ” Jaysus hasn’t your one put on weight”, or just the usual negative commentary about another person. What people say about others is a reflection of themselves. I want to feel positive and content in my body and life so I will be avoiding this type of person and conversation. When you put someone else down your doing it to make yourself feel better. Do you know what else feels good? Seeing the positive in people and saying nice things. 

My pledge to my body

As the title says, it is a journey. I am not going to tell you how to accept your body and its shape but I have made a few little vows to my body that over time will lead to me feeling more body confident. 

Nourish my body with healthy foods and exercise to feel good not to look good. I will not abuse my body with faddy diets or starve myself on a low-calorie diet. Gone are my days of a 1200 calorie a day my fitness pal app thingy then weighing myself every day to see if I lost weight. My body does amazing things each day, some days I work for 8 hours on my feet and then another 4 hours in the sewing room before I even get to sit down with a cup of tea. I will reward it with foods that nourish to keep it going, no faddy shakes or teas anymore for this vessel. 

Positive self-talk. I will not get upset and call myself names just because I have to go up a size in a piece of clothing. Or because my stomach flops to one side when I sit down. I won’t wince and delete the “fat” pictures when I am editing for my blog. 

Stop caring what other people might think. As the saying goes what other people think is none of your business. If someone bashes you for wearing something unflattering or for having too much makeup on then that really is their problem and not yours. 

Unfollow and reduce the noise. We are bombarded with messages and some which we have no control over, however, we do control what shows up on our feeds and timelines. So if your old friend on facebook is sharing progress pics or pictures or her avocado and egg breakfast and you couldn’t give a shit then hit that unfollow button and bye, Felicia. Also, know that what you see in the media is edited and the work that goes into shoots for advertisement is insane. For my blog images, they are edited however only the lighting is and my days of abusing Facetune are behind me lol. 

I hope you found this post useful. I won’t be hanging up my tea dresses just yet but I will be strutting my curves in my rose gold runners and jeans every now and again. On the subject of jeans if you have any recommendations for me I would love you to share in the comments section below. The ones I am wearing are the Corey slim boyfriend jean and you can find my rose gold runners here. 

Thanks for reading. 

Chat soon, 

Catherine. 

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61 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    March 12, 2017 / 10:25 am

    Such a GREAT post Catherine, well done. I think every single woman (and a large % of men too) have the same kind of thoughts looking in the mirror. We just need to turn things around & stop buying into the "perfect image" crap – there is so much more to a person than how they look. You look fantastic.

    • Catherine Carton
      March 12, 2017 / 10:51 am

      Thank you so much for reading Aoife, definitely! perfection doesn't exist and we need to love ourselves more. There is more to a person than the size label on their clothes x

  2. Tara Faulkner
    March 12, 2017 / 11:04 am

    LOVE IT!!!!!! gorgeous girl!!!!

    • Catherine Carton
      March 12, 2017 / 11:11 am

      Thank so much for reading Tara xxxx

  3. Michelle Downes
    March 12, 2017 / 11:21 am

    Catherine I'm curvy pear shaped 5,2", them Pippa o Connor jeans �� the slimmers are nice on I got a pair in short leg but you could manage taking them up a small bit with your machine, they hug me and make me feel comfy and proud of my curves which I can't change nor do I want to !

    • Catherine Carton
      March 12, 2017 / 11:45 am

      Thanks for reading Michelle, I might try a pair of them and even roll them up. I wonder when her pop up shop in dundrum is open until and I could try them on x Thanks for the recommendation. Keep rocking them curves x

  4. Karina Clifford
    March 12, 2017 / 12:10 pm

    Absolutely love this post….started following you on snapchat a few months ago and really enjoy how real ur snaps are….I follow some of the beauty bloggers and jaysus if their not snapping pics of there abs at the gym,they are snapping pics of tiny portions of food….no wonder young girls feel under pressure… I'm 28, size 14 and 5'2". Iv finally accepted my body over the last few years and once I'm happy thats all that matters… You look stunning and delighted to see someone so down to earth… love you snaps and ur realness…

    • Catherine Carton
      March 12, 2017 / 4:10 pm

      Thank you so much Karina for following and the kind words. I get ya with the abs and tiny portions of food. I know it can motivate and inspire people but it mainly makes me feel guilty when I see them posts x Thanks for reading xxx

  5. Victoria
    March 12, 2017 / 12:52 pm

    Catherine you look fab and this is such a great post with a really important message. I found my weight creeping up over the last 2 years but ignored it and would still try and wiggle myself into the same clothes, helped by two pairs of Spanx sometimes before relenting and buying a size, sometimes two, bigger. It was hard at first but the older I get the more accepting I am: I look after my body, I eat well and I exercise and I'd rather lose a little weight steadily and sensibly than on a crash diet as I would have before. It was hard going from eating and drinking everything and barely exercising whilst not gaining a single pound from the age of 18 to suddenly creeping up a stone and a bit without acknowledging it was happening. I've put no pressure on myself to lose weight or drop a dress size, just to be content where I am now and to know that I'm healthy. Sure it'll be grand if I manage one day to get back into a smaller size but if I don't I'm not going to beat myself up! X

    • Catherine Carton
      March 12, 2017 / 4:12 pm

      Thanks so much for reading Victoria, I think as we get a little older its natural to put on a few extra pounds and it is harder to lose them, I try and eat healthy too but since changing my mindset to eating and exercising to nourish my body and not to look a certain way I find that has helped. x

  6. Louise
    March 12, 2017 / 1:09 pm

    Love this. I find it so hard to shop and I just wear the same stuff all the time. I feel stuck in a style rut. I like the idea of following instagram accounts of people who have my body shape and looking at clothes that suit my frame. Great ideas and I love the pledge at the end

    • Catherine Carton
      March 12, 2017 / 4:14 pm

      Thanks so much for reading Louise x It can be hard to try new things, It took me ages to find a decent pair of jeans and I must of tried on about 5 different styles before finding the right pair. I also felt a bit poop when I didn't like what I seen staring back in the mirror and then is when I realised I need to accept my shape and be kinder to myself. x I hope you get to try on some new pieces for your wardrobe and find something you love. xx

  7. Unknown
    March 12, 2017 / 1:24 pm

    Love your posts I'm a mum of 3 aged 42 with more lumps and bumps than I had 20 years ago when I 1st gave birth ..but I'm healthy happy have a husband and kids who adore me and if I've to lie on the bed to squeeze into my size 14 jeans sometimes then so what ..life is tough enough besides beating ourselves up over a few pounds ..you go girl you're fabulous 😘

    • Catherine Carton
      March 12, 2017 / 4:16 pm

      Life is certainly tough enough, and as women we do so much within the day and having to worry about having the perfect "instagrammable" body on top of all of that gets you weary. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this post xx

  8. Lauraloo
    March 12, 2017 / 8:11 pm

    I absolutely applaud you Catherine. For years myself I just wouldn't wear jeans or leggings but I think I've kind of hit an age now where I just don't care. I'm 5ft and depending on where I shop go between a size 10-14. I could let this annoy me but quite frankly we should all be enjoying life and I'd rather enjoy the odd piece of cake. You look amazing in your jeans and the pjs (which I'm totally going out to buy). Thank you for providing this inspiration for so many of us! Ohh and the jeans I live in at the moment are Topshop Leigh. My thighs are quite chunky but I love these jeans.They do a supersoft version and normal. Usually I have to size up to a 14 if I go for the supersoft but they are comfy as anything! Laura x

    • Catherine Carton
      March 13, 2017 / 8:46 pm

      Thank you Laura, Thanks for reading and I am so glad this post gave a little inspo. A few of my work girlies mentioned the Leigh jeans and the river island Molly are on my list to try on. Thanks again for reading x

    • becs
      March 13, 2017 / 9:38 pm

      I have a generous bum and find the Leigh's slip down a bit and I'm constantly pulling at them so check that when you're trying on! Also a fan of Mollys! They do a short leg too, which suits me! Haaate jeans shopping, good luck! Also fangirl moment – love your blog and following you on Snapchat, love the crafts, you totally inspire me!! Keep on hustlin'!!

  9. dicope
    March 12, 2017 / 10:35 pm

    Amazing post!!! When I started following you, not once I thought you were fat! I love your style and I will enjoy seeing you try on some different clothes as well! But know that I will always see you beautiful! Because you truly are!! And that shows in your posts and photos!! These ones are wonderful too 😘

    • Catherine Carton
      March 13, 2017 / 8:47 pm

      Thank you so much for the kind comment and taking the time to read. Thank you for following and reading x

  10. Dreaming in Sequins
    March 12, 2017 / 10:44 pm

    You're an absolute babe! No one would ever think you're anything but a babe! We are so so hard on ourselves aren't we… always nitpicking at ourselves- I'm with you! We need to start treating ourselves with a little more care xx siobhan

    • Catherine Carton
      March 13, 2017 / 8:48 pm

      Agh thanks for reading Siobhan x We are our own worst critics. We need to be so much kinder to ourselves. x

  11. Miriam Dore
    March 13, 2017 / 12:06 am

    Amazing post. You are super Catherine. Well done x

    • Catherine Carton
      March 13, 2017 / 8:48 pm

      Thanks so much for reading Miriam xxx

  12. IsMiseMarina
    March 13, 2017 / 5:41 am

    Wonderful post Catherine, so honest and totally relatable. Love watching your snaps and videos. Thanks so much for writing this xx

    • Catherine Carton
      March 13, 2017 / 8:48 pm

      Thank you so much for reading x Thanks for following and watching my snaps too x

  13. Unknown
    March 13, 2017 / 11:24 am

    Wow! This blog post has really hit me every word you wrote is exactly how I feel 😢 It's time to except that we or I will never look like the kardashians but except my body and it's curves and treat it well! Thanks so much for this post and you really do look beautiful in ur jeans and gold runners but what makes you more beautiful is your personality you a truely a beautiful woman inside and out XxX p.s love your snaps

    • Catherine Carton
      March 13, 2017 / 8:49 pm

      Thank you so much for commenting. Why be a Kardashian when we can be ourselves x Thank for following and reading x

  14. Lorraine Bull
    March 13, 2017 / 3:45 pm

    Absolutely love this piece Catherine!! I have spent so many years hating myself for not being the perfect size! I have put myself through hell with fad diets etcI've got curves I'm not skinny I'm a size 16!!I really beat myself up daily and struggle to buy clothes to hide my lumps and bumps and no flatter my shapeI'm dreading the summer I'll be the one covered up sweating like a dog for fear of what I look like!This post has helped me think about being more positive and kinder to myself!I'm not disgusting at all, I'm curvaceous lolThank you for writing such an honest post as usual Catherine xxx

    • Catherine Carton
      March 13, 2017 / 8:51 pm

      You certainly are not disgusting! baby steps and your confidence will grow. Go follow some ladies on Instagram/pinterest with a similar shape to you for some outfit inspiration and ideas. I even dread stripping off for summer holidays but I am just gonna treat myself to some nice bikinis and rock the curves x Tanks for reading x

  15. Claire Bowden
    March 13, 2017 / 5:46 pm

    Lovely post xx your honesty is so refreshing!😊

    • Catherine Carton
      March 13, 2017 / 8:52 pm

      Thank you so much for reading Claire x I really appreciate it.

  16. Makeup Monster
    March 13, 2017 / 8:13 pm

    I absolutely love this post, you talk so much sense and you look absolutely fabulous!

    • Catherine Carton
      March 13, 2017 / 8:53 pm

      Thank you for reading gorgeous x

  17. Emma O Callaghan
    March 13, 2017 / 8:42 pm

    What a super post to read! I battle with body negativity everyday but reading this just makes sense! Thanks so much xx p.s love watching ur Snapchat

    • Catherine Carton
      March 13, 2017 / 8:54 pm

      Aw thanks Emma x every day challenge a negative thought with a positive one and give yourself one compliment each morning x

  18. Brooke McHiggins
    March 14, 2017 / 9:38 pm

    Hi Catherine, I noticed that picture of you in jeans over on Insta – my initial thought was wow! She looks like a Ralph Lauren advert (beautiful!)…then also, hey she's wearing jeans (as I hadn't noticed you wearing any before – love your tea dresses btw). It made me stop and question why I hadn't worn jeans in a bit & I thought I might give them a go. Little did I know that your picture and associated blog post is all about body positivity! It's so helpful to read about women reclaiming reality from ads and diet culture, health is important but trying to fit a mould that's uncommon to begin with is wrong. It's nice to not feel alone in this. Thanks for being inspiring love!Brooke (@lady_chiggs)

    • Catherine Carton
      March 16, 2017 / 5:31 pm

      Thank you so much for reading Brooke, Never feel your alone x I adore your style too, your such a lady. x

  19. Unknown
    March 16, 2017 / 2:50 pm

    What a fantastic post. You have taken what i want to feel and what i want to think and put it on paper!i am just 5ft and exact same shape as you. Loving (but also hiding) behind my tea dresses and rockabilly dresses, having gorgeous runners i barely wear and hiding from the Mr hands to avoid my belly! This is such an inspiration and so refreshing. Be nice to ourselves and ignore the nasty comments if they come. my brother once told me that if someone says something nasty, then why listen to them, cause only horrible people say nasty things so those people shouldnt be listened to. X

    • Catherine Carton
      March 16, 2017 / 5:32 pm

      Thank you so much for reading. I am so glad you found the post useful and can relate. I love what you said about nasty comments. It is so true. xxx

  20. Unknown
    March 16, 2017 / 7:18 pm

    First time commenting xx loved this wee post!! Xxxxxx

    • Catherine Carton
      March 27, 2017 / 3:48 pm

      Thank you so much for reading xxx

  21. karola
    March 19, 2017 / 6:23 pm

    Hello there, I was just reading your post and OMG I LOVE it. I will have to read it again and I may even print it out to remind myself when I have a day of to much chocolate or brea. Since I'm from Germany I love nothing more than bread:)))) thank you so much for this post!!!!! You look FABULOUS Girl and I love your pictures and everything you do. You for sure got a new fan here in TX ❤

    • Catherine Carton
      March 27, 2017 / 3:49 pm

      Aww thank you for reading! I am la lover of bread too, I think when I visited Paris in Feb I ate my weight in pastries and they were delicious. x

  22. Danielle Cara
    March 27, 2017 / 3:12 am

    I just want to say that I wear a size 10-12 and I had a lady doctor in the last year tell me that I needed to lose weight and to do so, only eat an 1100-1200 calorie/day diet! She was a very tiny unhappy looking person and quite snippy with the exam as well. I made the same decision you did last year (late – in my 40's!) and I changed physicians. Why would a lady every put down another one, – especially a lady who is providing care?Spot on with your post and you are lovely, by the way…just lovely!

    • Catherine Carton
      March 27, 2017 / 3:53 pm

      Thank you so much for reading and your kind words. Yes I totally get you and fair play for changing and standing up for yourself x

  23. Sharon Hearne Smith
    April 24, 2017 / 7:11 pm

    Love your blog and insta Catherine! and this post is all so true…well done for keeping it real – loved your indo feature also – you looked just fab as ever. thanks for jeans tip off – also adore your PJ's sooooo cute – do you mind me asking where they are from please? thanks mils xx

    • Catherine Carton
      April 26, 2017 / 5:36 pm

      Thank you so much Sharon, My Pj's are actually from good aul Pennies. They are there Disney pyjamas x

  24. Sharon Hearne-Smith
    April 28, 2017 / 8:47 pm

    Ah pennies, puuurfect! They are gorgeous. Thank you!

  25. bubble
    May 6, 2017 / 1:52 pm

    Great post love your blog

    • Catherine Carton
      May 9, 2017 / 3:48 pm

      Thank you so much for reading x

  26. SimplyShalom
    July 17, 2017 / 2:36 am

    Thank you for sharing, this was very timely for me. I have lost 46 lbs but all I could see was the 40 I still had to go. Thank you.

  27. Lisa Gaines
    July 19, 2017 / 1:35 am

    Beautiful post Catherine. I too am about 4'11, about 38C and my weight has always settled in my upper arms and thighs😊 and I'm a size 10-12. What I came to realize after turning 40 and still battling my weight is that God loves me just as I am. Will I try to make healthier choices? Absolutely, but regardless of what the scale says He will never stop loving us💕

  28. Mimi Harsh
    August 21, 2017 / 12:39 am

    Thank you from the bottom of my ❤. I have always had a problem with being body positive about myself, but the older I get the more I understand that it's my life and I need to 💘 myself before I can love others. I'm so glad I found your YouTube channel and your blog. It really made me feel so much better about myself. I really enjoy your videos, my sweetheart and I have a house that was the first one built in our village and we are slowly bringing her back to life. I love pottery and tea cups also. I'm always on the lookout for some. I have to say you look great in those jeans, like you I only own 1 pair. I wear them on occasion. But your dresses are so pretty and you always look so elegant. I wear a size 24S in USA, so I'm not sure what that is in Ireland. So I have a hard time finding things that flatter me. So I'm thinking of making my own clothes as I have a degree in design. But I am not sure what would look best on me. Do you have any suggestions on how to find what looks good on a body type? Any info would be greatly appreciated, thank you. Please keep those videos coming they really inspire me a lot. I loved your kitchen redo and your Guest/kitty room was beautiful. Day Hello to the kitties!!!

    • Catherine Carton
      August 30, 2017 / 5:43 pm

      Thank you so so much for such a nice comment. My best advice is to find people with a similar shape to yours and see what you like on them. Honestly wear the things that make you happy not others x

  29. Pam Long
    August 27, 2017 / 1:36 pm

    When I was younger I use to try to appear shorter and blend in with my more petite and of course then I thought prettier friends. One day a friend of my mother's who I truly admired came up to me and said stop stooping and stand and walk tall, let everyone see how beautiful you are. Well from that day on I worked on fighting the voice that told me to bend over and have always done my best to walk tall. Amazing how powerful kind words are…they have stayed with me for over 30 years now. This was a wonderful blog, thank you for sharing your story with us.

    • Catherine Carton
      August 30, 2017 / 5:44 pm

      Thank you so so much for reading Pam x

  30. Lauren Elizabeth Verney
    November 18, 2017 / 3:59 pm

    I stumbled upon your YouTube the other day and instantly loved your content. Then I read this post & it could not be truer I am terrible for deleting pictures because I think I look fat & the overwhelming feeling of having to loose weight since having my baby boy this year. Thankyou for writing this as without realising you will help so many people especially me that I need to be more positive! X

  31. Wildflower wind
    June 4, 2018 / 3:00 pm

    Sandy – Such wise thoughts for a young person. You have taken your power back and won't let advertising money tell you how to live your life. I appaud you. We need more women understanding what companies are doing to us. Please spread your message. When you feel good about yourself, you spread that good feeling to others. Sandy

  32. theresa
    July 10, 2018 / 2:54 am

    You are so fab!! I have only been following you for about a month or so, but you are so wise and inspirational! I'll be 60 this year , so while I am much older than you, your comments still resonate with me. I love your tea dresses and you have inspired me to start wearing them (I own one that I got for a wedding last year and that was the first time I had worn one in almost 10 years!). I so enjoy your videos as well! And I am so happy I found your blog and can follow your journey!! xo

  33. Lisa
    October 19, 2018 / 3:51 pm

    Love this. You my dear young lady are a wise woman. I enjoy your videos, and your blogs. You are beautiful and wise. (Wise does not necessarily mean white hair. Wisdom comes from the journey you are on, learning daily as you go.) Blessings! Lisa

  34. Mel
    April 22, 2019 / 10:13 pm

    I’ve been inspired to do some DIY/crafty projects after finding this website. My friend is going to do some with me next weekend after I told her what I’m going to do with an old wheel. I read this article as it caught my eye. I was teased at junior school because I was tall and slim and other girls were shorter and very skinny. I don’t recall it upsetting me too much and I wasn’t really overly bullied at school. However growing up and hitting my 20s it affected the way I thought about my legs so much so I wouldn’t wear shorts which I lived in as a kid and skirts unless they were long. I felt my legs must be so ungirly compared to most I couldn’t possibly wear a dress or skirt to my knees. I look at photos on holiday and my legs were not big. I know now my legs are bigger than others in term of calf size and I look down and think they are massive and manly but I look in the mirror and they don’t seem too big. I think it’s part in my head and part fact that I’m not as slim as I was but I don’t look like a man in a dress. I’ve embraced tea dresses and cute shift dresses. However in Winter I wear tights and every year when Summer comes I think oh no I’ve to show my legs they will look horrendous, I will look like a man in a dress etc etc etc. I feel bad because I’m not a vain person. I’m by no means fashion conscious, I wear 3 items of make-up daily and eyeshadow is for special occasions and Christmas, I’ve no talent with eyeshadow lol. However I want to look smart and like a woman. My husband says I look fine and love. He says you don’t have very slim legs but they are long and normal, you look lovely. He thinks it’s strange that I ask him once a year in Spring the same question. I told him I think it goes way back and it must have stuck with me. He knows I used to live in jeans at one point. Anyway this article is a reminder to keep things in perspective. There’s bigger things happening in the world, some good, some bad and whilst the feelings I have around my legs and calves size, I need to just take the plunge and accept that trying to eat healthy and exercise is all I can do and my body shape is what it is. I’m no less a woman or ladylike in a dress than anyone else. Nobody cares and if some do talk/laugh/point out my legs in a negative way then who cares as only shallow unhappy people would do that.

    I have never thought about the fact we rarely see people of different sizes in the media etc but I think it’s a good idea to try and see clothes on different sizes for a clue as to what works and what doesn’t. However if you think you look different and your legs are the biggest in the world you’ll always think she looks fab but she must be skinnier than me in the legs lol.

    Anyway the legs have been out today in the gardens tomorrow the legs will be out at work. Deep breaths! Like taking a plaster off!

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