Once I start to accept my body then the confidence will follow
Last week on Instagram I posted a pic of me in my jeans. No big deal I hear you say, but I am not a jean wearer. I haven't owned or worn a pair in easily three years as I always felt too self-conscious of my body to wear them. I was blown away by all of the kind comments. There was so many I couldn't reply to them all. I wanted to write this post to inspire women who are feeling the same way that they are not alone and that I feel insecure at times about my body too. Whether your slim, small, tall, curvalicious, we all need to be kinder to ourselves.
Why I felt self-conscious?
An awful lot of money is made from companies by making women feel bad about themselves. You notice this around Christmas when all the ad's want you to eat everything and then poof, 1st of January all the diet and " new me, new bollox" starts and " How to drop a dress size in two weeks shite". We are constantly bombarded with messages from the media each day. Nowadays it is not just tv, it is on our phones. It is everywhere.
I am bored of seeing the same style of images in the media. I choose to follow ladies on Instagram with the same size and type or frame to me as they give me inspiration for outfits or how to wear a particular trend and then style it for my shape. I also love seeing when brands use ladies in campaigns where they have different shapes and sizes.
I also choose to follow women who inspire other women and not bash them. I couldn't care less if you have lip fillers, fake boobs or fake lashes. If that is what makes you happy then live and let live. I also work with a large team of women of all ages. Each one beautiful and not one of us has the same body shape, so why are we bombarded with the one same body shape we see used by brands in the media.
My shape and why I won't be hiding it anymore
I am a petite frame but with some shapes thrown in. I am 4ft 11 and 3/4. I have a DD chest and a size two foot. I am not and will never be a Victoria Secret model and I don't want to be. I carry weight on the tops of my arms and thighs and have a smaller waist. I have a little pooch and sometimes when I eat bread I look about three months pregnant. I have many a time had to say "It's a food baby #notpregnant". I don't know what I weigh and my clothes are on average a size 10. My belly flops to one side when I lie down and I can rest my boobs on my belly too.
My signature outfit is a tea dress, I love them and I live in them and they make me feel glam. They cover my thighs and parts I don't like but lately, I kinda felt like I was hiding behind them. The last few months when a new style of jean would come into work I would try them on but none flattered my shape. In hindsight, they did suit my frame I was just focusing on my thighs each time I tried them on. So wanting to wear my rose gold runners I said Fuck it! and I got a little blue pair of denim to match and I wore them.
Stop talking to yourself like you're a piece of shit and stop talking shit about other women.
I see this every day when I scroll through my feed. Captions like " I can't believe how fat I was". "I was so hideous in the before pic" etc etc. Why do we feel the need to say these things about ourselves. Yes, hands up I will admit that I am guilty of looking in the mirror and beating myself up over parts of my body I don't like. Then I asked myself why? Why are you saying horrible things because your stomach isn't flat or thighs rub? I guess subconsciously because I see the same type of body in the media each day and mine isn't like it so I feel inadequate.
I also won't be engaging in conversations about other women in a negative way. We all know it, over coffee, the topic might turn to " Jaysus hasn't your one put on weight", or just the usual negative commentary about another person. What people say about others is a reflection of themselves. I want to feel positive and content in my body and life so I will be avoiding this type of person and conversation. When you put someone else down your doing it to make yourself feel better. Do you know what else feels good? Seeing the positive in people and saying nice things.
My pledge to my body
As the title says, it is a journey. I am not going to tell you how to accept your body and its shape but I have made a few little vows to my body that over time will lead to me feeling more body confident.
Nourish my body with healthy foods and exercise to feel good not to look good. I will not abuse my body with faddy diets or starve myself on a low-calorie diet. Gone are my days of a 1200 calorie a day my fitness pal app thingy then weighing myself every day to see if I lost weight. My body does amazing things each day, some days I work for 8 hours on my feet and then another 4 hours in the sewing room before I even get to sit down with a cup of tea. I will reward it with foods that nourish to keep it going, no faddy shakes or teas anymore for this vessel.
Positive self-talk. I will not get upset and call myself names just because I have to go up a size in a piece of clothing. Or because my stomach flops to one side when I sit down. I will no longer push Mr Dainty's hands away from my stomach when he climbs in bed and wants to heat his hands off my belly. I won't wince and delete the "fat" pictures when I am editing for my blog.
Stop caring what other people might think. As the saying goes what other people think is none of your business. If someone bashes you for wearing something unflattering or for having too much makeup on then that really is their problem and not yours.
Unfollow and reduce the noise. We are bombarded with messages and some which we have no control over, however, we do control what shows up on our feeds and timelines. So if your old friend on facebook is sharing progress pics or pictures or her avocado and egg breakfast and you couldn't give a shit then hit that unfollow button and bye, Felicia. Also, know that what you see in the media is edited and the work that goes into shoots for advertisement is insane. For my blog images, they are edited however only the lighting is and my days of abusing Facetune are behind me lol.
I hope you found this post useful. I won't be hanging up my tea dresses just yet but I will be strutting my curves in my rose gold runners and jeans every now and again. On the subject of jeans if you have any recommendations for me I would love you to share in the comments section below. The ones I am wearing are the Corey slim boyfriend jean and you can find my rose gold runners here.
Thanks for reading.